Zounds! Two new ladies in one day?? Magical! This one’s named Subject Zero and she’ll be in Mass Effect 2. Let’s look at some pretty pictures of her.
Tattoos? Shaved head? Straps barely covering her boobs? Awesome. Fan reaction over her seems to be mixed, but I think she’s rad. Unlike Street Fighter’s Juri, who hurts people with her feet, Subject Zero hurts people with guns and her foul, foul language. Check it out!
Maybe she’s got a little too much “baditude,” but I don’t care. I’m just smitten by her haircut. I can’t wait for her and CathyJones Shepard to get it on!
Those fiends at Capcom just officially took the wraps off the new version of Street Fighter IV, to be cleverly named Super Street Fighter IV (shocker). And wouldn’t you know it, a new version of a Street Fighter game is bringing new characters with it. And guess what? The first one revealed is a hot lady! Her name is Juri. Let’s check her out!
What a cutie! Y’know, with that pointy ear-like hair and stripes on her body, she’s kind of a cat-girl, isn’t she? I dig it. I don’t know what’s up with that shiny eye thing, though. At least she’s barefoot and kicks really high. I’m especially looking forward to whatever skimpy extra costumes Capcom comes up with for her. Yes, I’m officially totally stoked about SSF4 now. Nice job, fiends!
Capcom sent out word that they’ve updated the website for Ace Attorney Miles Edgeworth Investigations. It’s got trailers, character bios and wallpapers. But who gives a shit if there aren’t a bunch of sexy pictures of my boyfriend Miles?
I mean, seriously, look at this hotness I found on the interwebs:
You see, Capcom! THAT’S how you do that shit! I get that your site is supposed to be all “family-friendly,” but c’mon, what would be the harm of some tastefully done photos of models in cosplay? Just something a little sweet that I can masturbate to, y’know?
Fighting game Soul Calibur: Broken Destiny is out on the PSP now. I don’t have a PSP, so I can’t play it. But even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Because, you see, this entry in the Soul Calibur franchise is missing one important factor. And his name is…….VOLDO!!!!
Eye say! Hahahahaha!
Yes, one of the gayest video game characters ever created has been deleted from the latest installment of the long-running series. I don’t know who at Namco is responsible for this embarrassing and likely-homophobic oversight, but by golly, they’ll pay for it in the afterlife!
In honor of our gone-but-not-forgotten S&M hero, let’s take a look at a few images of him in all his glory.
Batman: Arkham Asylum is out this week, and I was thinking you and I should take a moment to look at the hot hot hot redesigns of Batman villains Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. I was going to point out Ivy’s bare midsection, heavy bosoms and underwear made out of leaves, and Harley’s corset and skirt.
But dammit, while I was looking for images I came across a posting at Toronto Thumbs called Harley Quinn: Not A Sex Object and another posting at Feministing about the same subject. The Toronto Thumbs article accuses game journalists as misogynistic in their writings about Harley. The Feministing post goes a different way, accusing the game’s creators of not treating the character respectfully.
“Shit,” thought I. “What’s a guy with a sex-in-video games blog supposed to do?” Is oogling sexed-up female characters in a game wrong? Is sexing them up to sell more copies of the game also wrong? What is right? These are the questions of our times!
Well I’ve done my thinking on the subject and here’s my conclusion: These are fictional characters. No one’s being exploited and no one’s getting their feelings hurt by being oogled. And you know what? Even if these were real people, they’d be actors, and actors are no strangers to being made into sex objects.
It’s fine with me if the game’s developers want to throw a little sex appeal into their product. Honestly, who is it hurting? I see nothing wrong with sexuality, whether it’s directed towards women or men.
"I will make love to this clown, discreetly and tender."
And don’t think Arkham Asylum only sexes-up its women. Just take a look at what the game’s developers did to The Batman. Check out those bulging pecs, hard abs and rippling biceps! If any fictional character should feel exploited, it’s the game’s hero. They turned him into a total beefcake. You can’t even see the logo on his chest because his tits are so damn huge.
So fuck it. If I wanna drool over a video game character then, by golly, I’m gonna do so. Video game makers don’t create attractive characters on accident, and it’s certainly no secret why the most famous actors are also the most beautiful. Sex lives in our society constantly, and no one should be looked down upon for embracing it. And with that in mind, check out these hot shots of Harley and Ivy from Batman: Arkham Asylum!
And in case you were wondering what Poison Ivy looks like in action, check out this cinematic trailer:
As I sit patiently waiting for the release of No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle (tentatively set at January 2010), I’d like to take this time to reflect on one of my favorite characters from the first game, Bad Girl.
Yes, the 23-year-old drunken assassin with the frilly pink dress and flaming baseball bat holds a dear place in my heart. Her death came far too quickly. I can’t think of any other character dressed in so colorfully while also killing gimps in bondage gear. How wonderfully perverted! Like most of the assassins in No More Heroes, the game never explains who she is or where she comes from. They just let her be all kinds of crazy.
Let’s oogle some cosplayers dressed as her, shall we?
And in case you never played No More Heroes, here’s her full appearance in the game:
Capcom just launched the site for the next game in the Ace Attorney series, Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth. As the name implies, this entry stars Phoenix Wright’s rival Miles Edgeworth. How about that! But holy shit, this game isn’t coming out until February 2010! Objection! Why do they tease me so?? Stop screwing with me, Capcom! I want my Miles-y hotness now. Just look at him!
Seriously, check out that hair! And that ruffly collar! Oh man. That vest. That eggplant suit. His beauty is as cold as his prosecutorial heart. I hear he’s all about finding the Truth now. Well, I want some truth, too. Tell me you love me, Miles! Tell me you love me!
Hum, well, anyway, yes, I am excited for this game. Here’s Capcom’s official line:
Ace Attorney INVESTIGATIONS ™: Miles Edgeworth, will hit the U.S on February 16, 2010 for the Nintendo DS. This time around, the player takes on the role of famed prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, a memorable rival of charismatic legal eagle Phoenix Wright. Edgeworth actively investigates crime scenes in order to pursue the truth behind each case. By solving the challenging puzzles presented to him, Edgeworth will work with the police to bring criminals to justice.
Capcom’s Marvel Vs Capcom 2 hype train continues today with new images featuring Resident Evil’s Jill Valentine and Marvel Comics’ Storm. While I love Resident Evil, I really couldn’t give two shits about the X-Men. So this video game site is going to stick with pure video game characters, and you & I are going to oogle Ms. Valentine together.
Let’s take a trip down mammary lane and look at Jill’s various incarnations!
This video has got to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen. Taking the viewer through a basic history of video games, the video jumps from one milestone to the next, with wonderfully twisted results. It starts out a little slow but make sure to watch the whole thing. The ending is incredible. Much love to the video’s German masterminds, Musclebeaver.
It’s already out and the reviews aren’t so great, but man, Nippon Ichi Software’s mash-up RPG Cross Edge has a character list that makes my cock hurt. Just look at this collection of sexpots!
I don’t know half of their names but who gives a shit? Just fuck ‘em and leave ‘em, I always say.