My Unhealthy Attraction to Dante

Very few game characters do it for me like the Devil May Cry series’ protagonist Dante. After soaking up all I could from the pre-release demo, I played the original DMC as soon as Capcom put it out in 2001 for the PS2. Immediately I was hooked, not just to the series but to its star as well. Dante was a hot bad-ass with a sword, big guns, boots and a red leather coat. Plus he was half-demon, which is right up my alley.

You cannot stop the hotness.

It wasn’t just Dante’s looks that got me. His cocky attitude and crazy fighting techniques seemed so original at the time. The reason the term “Devil May Cry clone” exists is because this game oozed style and intensity. And plus he had great lines, like telling a giant owl to “Flock-off, feather-face!” Awesome.

Thanks to the success of the original, Capcom decided to continue Dante’s adventures. Unfortunately Devil May Cry 2 was a largely forgettable experience, mostly because Capcom made Dante less exciting and quieter. But in 2005, Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening took the series back to the classic. They made Dante younger and cockier, and the fighting was harder and crazier. I was thrilled. His DMC3 look is still my favorite version of him.

In fact, I’ve yet to play Devil May Cry 4, mostly because half the game doesn’t even star Dante. What’s the point of that, you Capcom fools!? Give me more Dante! Sometimes at video game stores I look at the racks just in case there’s something new there. It’s not like I wouldn’t have already heard about a new DMC game, but then again, maybe I’ll find something magical. And that magic would make Dante real. And then he and I can run away together and get married and fuck until we’re both blue. Omigod, please someone, draw me a naked Dante. I bet his cock is all shaved and smooth and tastes like supernatural candy–AHEM. Pardon me. Moving on….

In between selling comic books I actually spent a good deal of time at last year’s San Diego Comic-Con searching for just the right Dante statue or action figure.  Sadly, none that I found lived up to my fantasies. So the hunt for something amazing will be on again at this year’s show! And as for the games, I continue to wish for Devil May Cry 5: Pantsless Sunday.